You got: Writer

So, I took this silly Buzzfeed quiz for what career I should really have, and here's what came up:

You are a maker. Creative from the day you were born, you spend most of your time thinking about the world you live in. You are open to new ideas and value beauty and originality more than most. We both know you’re not really the office type, so give yourself some room to create. Other occupations: director, producer, advertiser.

Of course, part of me was thrilled, because for years I dreamed of being a writer, scribbling short stories and poems in journals and keeping a diary. I think, in part, my dream was merely an imitation of my beloved Emily books by L.M. Montgomery. Emily was destined to be a writer; the muses worked through her and writing was like breathing to her. She couldn't not write. I never fully related to this. I wanted to relate. I worked at relating, at feeling this depth of passion for writing that this fictional character had (and which I assumed and still believe to be authentically based on Montgomery's own feelings about writing), and while I loved to write, I never felt like it was absolutely something that I had to do.

Still, there is a richness added to life when I write. This past month, I did my first 30-day challenge: to write in my journal every day for 30 days. I missed two days, falling asleep and forgetting to write anything. Otherwise, every night, I turned to my journal and wrote. Mostly, I just jotted down a few things that I was grateful for that happened that day: a lesson that went well with my students, a sweet moment with my husband, a healthy report from my midwife. Sometimes I wrote about my anxieties and frustrations, but I tried to keep it more a meditation on the positives and beauties of my life.

Now, I'm teaching my seniors, often reluctant readers and writers, poetry, and our first day of poetry was, in my view, a huge success. I started the class off using a method of poet and teacher Sarah Kay: I had my seniors list ten things that they care about. Then, they did a 10-minute free write on one or more of the items on their list. After they wrote for a while, I shared a poem that evokes an emotional reaction in me, and I allowed them to see my reaction. That poem is Sarah Kay's "If I Should Have a Daughter." We talked about ways in which I would relate to and find inspiration from that poem as I'm on the verge of motherhood. We also talked about Sarah Kay's three steps towards becoming a poet: I can do this; I will do this; and I will challenge myself to write about things that I don't know while using my experiences and unique perspective to guide my ideas and my voice. See her Ted talk for the poem and her experiences with becoming and teaching poetry.

 Then, I asked them to tell me, "Why is poetry scary? Or, just tell me your take on poetry." And I got a lot of interesting answers, from it's boring to the fear of vulnerability and the fear of judgment (being graded) on something that's so personal, emotional, and subjective. After discussing these fears and frustrations--and some of the joys--of poetry, I gave them this strategy: Take your free write, underline the moments in it that you like, and turn those moments into a poem. And the joy and surprise to me was that at the end of class students shared their poems! Some of the students who had vocalized fear of judgment and vulnerability volunteered to share. To me, this was one of the best moments of my school year, a little victory for poetry and for creativity!

I might be a writer yet. Perhaps some day I will feel that inspiration in one form or another to produce a book. But for now, scribbling in my journal and writing an occasional poem or blog entry seem to satiate me. And having moments as a teacher where I am sharing the power and joy of the written word with my students is an even greater joy. I feel inspired and wonder: what's next? Who else can I share with them? What other tricks can I use to get them to write poems in a safe environment and feel that rush that comes from creativity and expression?

So I may have gotten writer, but what I truly am is teacher.